Zutto
by QueenOfHearts3
Summary: see profile. yes, im still working on the story...
1. Bittersweet Memories

Disclaimer: *rolls eyes* Are these _really_ necessary? -_-' Dya think I'd be writin 4 free if I thought I owned the stuff? Heck no! lol Nor do I own the song "Everything." That's the property of Lifehouse and some other people.

QoH: My 1st Fushigi Yugi (4 the purposes here, I'll be usin the english version) fanfic! I started readin FY recently, and found it absolutely addictin! True, I've only read volume six, since that's all they have at the library so far (therefore, if I get any info wrong, can u guys tell me? thanks. whatever wasn't in v6 is stuff I found on the 'net, so I'm not sure how accurate it is ^_^ either that, or its my own creation lol), but I think it's fantastic! Of course, given the volume, my favorite character is Hotohori! *_* That dude aint just the emperor of Hong-Nan, ya know! He also reigns supreme in the _sweetness department, not 2 mention da boy's a total Hottie (notice the capital "H" hehe) *thinks 4 a sec* Hm... why do I get the feelin that I'm preachin 2 the choir? lol Duh, of course u all like him, 2, or u wouldn't be be readin a fanfic about him lol that is, him and Miaka! :D Ya know, I respect the whole Tamahome/Miaka 'ship, really I do. But, I can't help thinkin H/M would've a better couple... (by the way, "zutto" means "always," in case ya didn't know)_

Setting: I know that Hotohori dies in the real thing, protectin Miaka and her world (naturally), a fact that really disturbs me (ie. makes me cry like a baby), so I'm makin it like that battle with Nakago never took place (^_^ In fact, the whole gang's alive! I can't stand 2 c such cool guys die! ;_;) Oh, and I know he's married *sniff*, but I don't really know much about his wife (Houki?), so I'm pretendin she doesn't exist either ('sides, it's not really fair 2 her that her hubby's still in love with Miaka) Oh, yeah, and Miaka's in Tokyo with Tama for now… ^_~ hehe *looks over the notes* Okies, I think that's everything...

_Zutto_

_Chapter 1: Bittersweet Memories_

                Hotohori sat at his desk, his head in his hands. While his country celebrated the summoning of Suzaku and the ensuing peace, he'd isolated himself in his private office, working on tedious paperwork, as he had for days. He'd never liked the stuff, but he'd needed an excuse to escape the revelry, and that seemed as good as any.

                The only thing was, he couldn't concentrate on it enough to even see the letters properly. One constant, painful thought occupied his mind and heart all the time, leaving little room for anything else. _Miaka..._ Watching her leave, disappear into her own world had been harder on him than he'd thought it was going to be. _I wonder what it's like, that Tokyo she'd always talked so fondly of_, he mused vaguely, standing to walk to the balconey. Looking up at the sky sadly, he immediately spotted the star that symbolized her. Next to his constellation, it twinkled happily down at him, reminding him of her own shining personality. Eyeing his own ruefully as it hovered near the bright little dot of light, he knew that was the closest he'd ever come to her, ever again.

                Hanging his head as he leaned against the post that shared the weight of the sheltering roof, Hotohori's eyes fell on the teddy bear at his feet. Kneeling, he picked up the small stuffed animal, slowly running his fingers over the strange material. Sitting back against the railing, he wrapped the bear tight in his arms. He closed his eyes as he buried his face in it, tears he could no longer hold back soaking into the toy. A faint, but unmistakable trace of Miaka's scent remained, and he breathed deep to take it in, his nerves calmed slightly at the tiny connection with his love.

                "How I miss her..." he whispered, dropping his head wearily against the ornate border between him and the ground below. _I hope she's happy,_ he wished haltingly, hesitating for a moment as he forced himself to think it, _with Tamahome... He was happy with his friend and fellow warrior, really he was, but why did it have to be __Miaka? Why couldn't he have fallen for Yui, or somebody? The former Seriyuu priestess certainly wouldn't have had a problem with that, he was sure. Why did it have to be the girl Hotohori had loved before he'd even known her?_

                Yes, he smiled as he remembered his youthful enthusiasm for the legend of the Suzaku priestess, he'd been so happy to hear about "the girl from another world," thinking she would relieve his loneliness. Which she did, in a way, but she'd also brought a whole new level of emotions to his heart. 

                He knew now that what he'd felt for her as a child had really been nothing more than a mere crush, a wishful thought he guarded carefully as he was surrounded fawning servents and subjects. Yet, after meeting the girl who'd haunted his dreams since that time, he knew he was in for it, and bad. After getting to know her, he'd found the old feelings had fully returned, and that they'd brought more mature reinforcements.

                Hotohori's mind travelled back to the time after he'd saved her from drowning. He'd been so scared then, more so than he'd ever been in all his life, and probably ever would be. While he'd searched in the raging thunderstorm, he'd nearly lost it, falling into full-blown panic, where he would've been useless to everone, especially Miaka. Even when he'd found her, tangled in the clinging seaweed, the terrifying notion crossed his mind that he'd been too late, that her beautiful spirit had been extinguished forever.

_~Find me here.  
  
_

                He'd always been loyal to Suzaku, but in that moment, he'd prayed as he'd never prayed before, in a desperate plea that the god might save his angel. To his utter relief, Suzaku had answered him, helping him to bring Miaka to the shore where their friends waited anxiously. As they'd chattered around him in varying degrees of worry, shock, or mixtures of both, Hotohori silently thanked him as he'd held an unconscious Miaka close in his protective embrace.

_~Speak to me.~_

                He'd carried her, both of them still dripping wet, to his chamber, where he'd had a female servant remove her clothing so she didn't get hypothermia while he'd changed his own in the next room. Admittedly, he'd wanted to do it, himself, but he'd known it wasn't right, so he'd restrained himself firmly. _Besides_, Hotohori smiled ironically to himself, laughing a little for the first time in over a week, _she probably would've beat me over the head with the nearest blunt object if she'd found out that I'd done something like that._

                Watching her as she slept had been a rare treat that Hotohori had savored as he'd sat quietly by her bedside, not wishing to wake her when she'd obviously needed rest. Even when clearly distressed, her shadowed eyes scrunching up and flitting about frantically, she'd still looked like a beautiful figment of his lonely imagination, as she always had.

                When she'd awoken and they'd talked, he'd gotten the, what he considered now, foolish idea to press his own advances on her, pratically _begging_ her to give him a chance, knowing full well she still loved Tamahome. For a moment, he'd been able to feel hope as she'd reacted instinctively to the undying, devoted love he'd offered her in his kiss.

_~I want to feel you.  
  I need to hear you.~_  
  


                That tiny glimmer, that glimpse of heaven had been too good to last, however. When she'd pulled away, her eyes clouded by pain once more, he'd just smiled over his keen disappointment and sat beside her as she'd drifted off again. He'd expected it, known it was coming, but he couldn't help feeling that he'd been cheated somehow. Not by Miaka, no, never by her. _Wishful thinking again,_ he sighed as he stood up and trudging inside, shutting the doors softly behind him, _I really have to learn not to do that..._

                When he climbed in bed, he still kept the bear with him, the slight comfort it offered made it a welcome guest. He rested his head beside it, staring at it until exhaustion took him at last. Perhaps it was a trick of the moonlight, but if Hotohori had been awake he might have wondered about the flash deep in the eyes of the bear...

  
QoH: Ok, so not a lot happened in this chapter... ^_~ Just wait, it's comin! I do kinda like this "wool-gathering" bit by Hoto-chan, tho... :D Ominous lil bit there with at the end, huh? hehe Review, please? *puppy eyes* I'd love 2 know what u all think of my 1st attempt at an FY fic!


	2. Comfort

QoH: *does a happy dance around her computer room* WHEE! :D hehe Yeah, I'm happy I got another chappy done, but that's not all! Do any of u know the show "Smallville?" (basically, it's a teenaged version of "Superman," weird stuff, love, angst and all that hehe) Either way, I love it, and I just got their soundtrack!! ^0^ It also happens 2 have "Everything" on it! WOOHOO!!! It's even a longer version than what they've played on the radio, 2! 6 WHOLE MINUTES (and 8 seconds ^_^)!! Talk about INSPIRATION CENTRAL! hehe I'm listenin 2 it now, in fact! *0* Neways, on a more serious note, I'm sorry about the late update. My computer's gone screwy on me (again -_-') and went and "write-protected" all the files on my disk without my authorization... *grrrr*

PS: They called me at the library and told me v4: Bandit is in! WOOHOO! I've been on hold 4 that thing 4 _weeks_ now! Read it in like 30 mins ^_~ hehe More Hoto stuff here, 2! :D Tasuki aint bad, but I still like my sweet emperor better!

_Chapter 2: Comfort_

                Hotohori shifted in his sleep, clutching the bear desperately to his heart. The nightmares had no end for him, it seemed. The depression he'd fallen into had finally invaded his private universe, the world of his dreams. Before now, it had been reserved solely for Miaka, and it still was, of a sort. 

These, however, were not the happy memories, or even fantasies of what had never been. _These_ were the worst moments, the times he wished he could've died where he stood. When he tried to kiss her while Tamahome was away, and she'd pulled away, obviously disgusted, from him. The shame had been unbearable, to see the censure in her eyes. 

When she'd nearly died of that demon plague. Her pleading with him to kill her so she might be revived, fully healed, at a later time, had been torturous. _Why_ had he volunteered to do that? As much as he'd wished she'd get better, he couldn't do it. Couldn't stab her, even if she'd asked, with those beautiful, expressive eyes overflowing with tears as she'd looked up at him. And what if he'd actually gone through with it? The consequences of such an action, especially considering what he'd discovered later, made him shudder, appalled beyond belief that he could've caused her to become a soulless, evil appendage of that demon. He really couldn't have lived with himself if that had happened, even if he had thought he was trying to do the right thing at the time. That was the one time he was glad his courage had failed him.

                Of course, there was also the time he'd almost killed Tamahome… So he'd been protecting Miaka from her mind-controlled love, so what? The bitter truth of the matter was that he could've done it, spell or no spell. He knew his baser instincts had played a large role in the way the battle had gone, no matter how noble and protective he was told he'd looked later on. He still cursed himself for a fool every day that he'd run the guy through in front her, even if he _was being charged at. With all his sword skills, he could've dodged it easily, right? But, _no_, he __had to go and do it __that way…_

                A lucky thing Miaka had come and saved Tamahome then, with the help of Mitsukake, of course. Her love had brought him back from the brink. Back from the shadows of his clouded mind. As involved as she had been in rescuing him from Death's clinging, inevitable cloak, she'd had no idea that she'd cast he, Hotohori, into the abyss in his place. There, in that moment, he'd lost every last shred of desperate hope that he still held of ever having the honor of being loved by her. He wouldn't have blamed her if she'd refused to even see him again, considering what he'd nearly done.

                But, of course, Miaka wasn't the type to lay blame at anyone's feet, no matter the situation. His throat closed painfully for a moment as he slept on, remembering how she'd cried for him. How she'd tried to appologize for the pure and simple fact that she just didn't love him, as much as she'd thought she should try, after everything he'd "done for her," as she had put it. That goodbye had nearly broken him as he'd embraced her, telling her once again of his hopeless, undying love before forcing himself to let go of his heart's most passionate desire for all time.

                "Hotohori..." whispered a faint, dear voice next to his ear, interrupting his self-recriminations as he bolted upright, suddenly wide awake as he looked around frantically for the source of the impossible sound he'd heard from the depths of his soul. It repeated, even quieter this time, and his eyes shifted to the teddy bear that still lay on his pillow, and they widened as he took in how it was shining softly. Such a thing was not normal for these stuffed animals, was it?

                He continued to gawk, astounded, as the low, soothing voice echoed from the bear, "I know you're troubled... I can feel it..." The light pulsed in a gentle, calming rhythm as it faded, "Never lose hope, Hotohori...."

_~You are the light  
  that is leading me  
  to the place where  
  I find peace again.~_  
  


_****_

                Miaka jerked awake, clutching her heart as she gasped for breath. The mysterious dreams she'd just experienced were fading even now as she tried to retain them in her memory. Naturally, it was a futile task, and she fell back against her bed, staring at the ceiling. Confused, frustrated, and not a little alarmed by the jumbled, foggy images, the one thing she could tell was that someone she deeply cared for was in great pain, though she didn't know who it was.

                "It's strange..." she murmured, frowning thoughtfully as she rolled over, closing her eyes again, "It felt like whatever that was had come from my very soul..." She found it a bit unnerving that she didn't know who it was. If she had such a strong connection with this person, wouldn't she know immediately?__

QoH: -_-' eh... I KNOW this chappy's short, but hey, it just seemed logical 2 end it at this point... o_O *runs away from angry readers* WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Preparations

QoH: *hides under her desk* eh.... gomen about the long wait ppl... -_-() with my work schedule bein as hectic as it has it has been in recent months, ive hardly been _home_, much less found time 2 write! *cries* ....... neways, im startin a new job now, so my schedule SHOULD be tamer *crosses fingers* ^_^ hope ya like this chappy!

_Chapter 3: Preparations_

                Hotohori yawned discreetly behind his hand and tried to look interested while yet another official droned on endlessly. He knew he ought to pay attention, but he never did like these throne room meetings, and he was tired. They were especially boring now that it was only money issues and such, instead of war strategies. Not that he really had an objection to that, of course. Boredom was a exceedingly small price to pay if it meant his country was safe enough to consider something as frivolous as the next imperial ball a top priority.

                Once again the entire population of his council was pressuring him to find a bride, and seemed to think it likely that he would find a suitable wife at this "gala event" of theirs. They all knew full well how he felt about the subject, considering his infamous love for Miaka, but that didn't deter them in the least in the matter of his producing an heir. He found it utterly amazing how one could be the leader of a country, and yet have so little power when it came to something so simple as a party.

                "Your Highness, don't you think a ball would lift the spirits of the people after the tragedy of this war?" wheedled Councilor Hirashi, betting on his Emperor's famed concern for his subjects' well-being in order to get him to agree to their thinly-veiled scheme. The other delegates glanced at him gratefully, then nodded vigorously.

                Hotohori sighed, knowing he was stuck in a no-win situation, as usual. He couldn't very well deny his people the happiness such a thing would bring them after the terror they'd all experienced of late, and yet it was something he would've given a great deal to escape. However, as the leader of the country, it was mandatory that he attend these functions. _Well, I don't imagine I could have had much else planned. I can't keep avoiding this forever, I suppose._ He sat up straighter and looked them in the eyes, communicating without words that he wasn't happy with this, but quite trapped all the same, "Very well. Arrange it, then."

~You are the strength  
  that keeps me walking.~

_****_

                In another time and dimension, another grand party was being planned, if Miaka had _her way, that is. Her wedding to Taka had almost everyone involved nearing the end of their respective ropes in reconciling the pair's differences on the issues of money and level of extravagance. Taka, being Tamahome's reincarnation, didn't want anything fancy, while Miaka, of course, wanted the "fairy tale" she'd always dreamed of. Yui, especially, felt close to tearing her hair out over the couple's stubborn refusal to compromise._

                She sighed in expasperation at the faintly sullen expression on her friend's face after the most recent round with Taka. She made a face and cocked her head at Miaka, "Why don't you just give in a little? I'm sure he will too, if he sees you're willing to meet him halfway."

                "Why shouldn't I have the perfect day, Yui?" the brunette scowled and scuffed her shoe as they strolled along the sidewalk outside the ice cream store. "This is the start of the rest of my life! I just want to stop freaking out about the cost of _roses, for pity's sake!"_

                Her friend gave her a droll look and took a bite out of her sundae before replying, "You can't pretend that's _all you want him to stop disagreeing with. What about the fiasco with the wedding photos, or the caterer disaster? Not to mention the dress!"_

                "Hey, it's not _my fault they cost so much!" Miaka answered defensively, even though she privately admitted that Yui had a point. Not that she was going to let that rain on her parade._

                She laughed and shook her head, "Miaka, be honest with yourself. How do you think they're able to hike their prices so high in the first place? Because many of us girls all want "the perfect day," that's why. Besides, can you really blame him for wanting to save a little on the expenses? Taka's just trying to look out for you in the long run, you know."

                Miaka let out a long breath, then smiled slightly as she toyed with the ring he'd given her, "Yeah, he _is that. I can't fault him for wanting protect us against the unforeseen."_

                "By the way," Yui wondered, sensing that particular hurdle had been cleared for the time being, "have you figured out what that dream of yours from last night was?"

                She shook her head, a puzzled frown on her face, "No, not in the least. All I know is that I'm close to whoever it was in the dream, and that they needed my help with some great pain."

                "Hm. I wonder why you can't see who it is," she mused thoughtfully as possible candidates ran through her mind. Naturally, there was Hotohori, who'd looked so dejected when he'd seen them off with the rest of the seishi the day she and Miaka had left for the "real world." Yui felt sorry for the lonely emperor, and privately thought he and Miaka would've made a better match, with their sensitive, emotional personalities. Of course, she wasn't going voice that opinion if her life depended on it. Miaka had made her decision, and Yui trusted her judgment. Anyway, it wasn't as though Taka was devoid of sensitivity, either. She'd seen the way he looked at his fiancé when they weren't at each other's throats, and knew he adored her. It was just the matter of toning down those tempers that had everyone around them going bananas.

                "I don't know, but I hate the idea of someone that I care for is hurt and I can't do anything about it, simply because I don't know who it _is_!" Miaka rubbed her eyes irritably and hitched her school bag over her shoulder with her other hand.

                "Well, getting yourself all frustrated over it certainly isn't going to help matters, now is it?" she hugged her friend reassuringly, "I'm sure you'll find out who it is soon. At least then, you'll have a chance to figure out a way to help them."

                She smiled faintly and leaned her head on her shoulder, glad for the support, "How do you always know what to say?"

                "Because I'm brilliant, remember?" Yui laughed and shrugged, "At least, according to our teachers."

                "Oh, _really now!" Miaka grinned back and poked her playfully in the side, "Then how is it that you don't know who this person in my dreams is any more than I do, huh?"_

                She laughed again and popped her lightly upside the head in retaliation, "Hey, I didn't say I had no clues whatsoever. I'm still working on it, all right?"

                "Ok, so when are you planning on telling me who you think it is?"

                A cryptic "we'll see what happens" was all she received for an answer.

_****_

                A knock sounded on his door, giving Hotohori a much-needed excuse to distract himself from the seemingly endless supply of letters of assent for "his" ball. He wasn't unaware of the fact that he happened to be the most eligible bachelor on the entire continent, nor were enterprising mothers with equally available daughters. _As it has been all my life. He shook his head, remembering he had a visitor, "Come in." It was, of course, Chichiri. The monk had keen observation skills, that was certain. Present as he usually was at meetings such as the one that morning, he'd obviously seen his fellow warrior's distraction and had come to offer his guidance. _

                As was his custom when they spoke alone, he'd removed his mask, allowing his worried eye to study him more intently, "You aren't sleeping well, no da? I can tell. There is an exhaustion about you that speaks of many long nights."

                Hotohori gave him a faint smile as he lowered himself to the floor and sat back on his heels, "Correct, as always, my friend. Recently, I have found sleep is a bittersweet, uncertain ground for me. I much prefer being awake to driving myself mad with..." The swordsman broke off and looked out the window at the night sky.

                "With things you want so badly to be real, you can _almost_ feel it, am I right?" Chichiri continued for him, balancing his ever-present staff on his knees.

                He nodded and propped his forehead on his hand, closing his eyes, "Yes, but those are, by far, not the worst. I also dream of things that terrify me with their realness, such experiences I do not know if I would survive if they were true."

                The blue-haired monk frowned in concern, his long fingers absently toying with his mask, "I knew you were upset over Miaka, yet I had no idea that it had gone this far. How long has this been going on? Since she left?"

                "Yes." Hotohori sighed and dropped his hand, leaning back in his chair with his eyes still closed, "At first, it was nothing more than the things I wish I could have taken back when she was here, but then it began worsening to the point where I dare not say it aloud. I really have no inkling of what to do, Chichiri. I am quite lost."

                He smiled very slightly and shook his head, "I think we are all, Seishuku-sama."

                The emperor's brows rose as he opened his eyes, surprised as much by the sound of his sparsely used name as the comment, "What do you mean?"

                "Merely that Miaka was the main bond between us all. We all met each other because of her. As such, each of us feels her absence in our own way," his somber expression brightened, "I do, however, also feel that we will see her again, someday."

                He sat up sharply, immediately alarmed, "How? Is she in danger? Is Konan? Do you sense a threat, Chichiri?"

                "It is only a faint idea at this point, but I believe…" he cocked his head as though listening to some voice only he could hear, which Hotohori wouldn't doubt.

                "Two will become one." Chichiri murmured, as though to himself.

QoH: ^_^ review please!


	4. Concern And Longing

QoH: *keels over* gah... @_@ 2 jobs... excuse me while I die...

All: Not just yet, you don't! *scary glares*

QoH: O_O() *nervous laughter* eheheh... ok, all right! here goes another chappy then!

_Chapter 4: Concern And Longing_

                Hotohori wandered aimlessly through his gardens that night, as he often did when he was troubled. Choosing his favorite stone bench, which offered a glorious view of the city, he sat down and closed his eyes for a moment. Leaning his elbows on his knees, Hotohori bowed his head and studied his fingers, usually so well kept. These days, he'd let his appearance slip a little, not bothering with "perfection" anymore.  _What would be the point, without the hope that she would see it? To most everyone, he still looked the same, their "beloved Heika-sama." But then, none of them had ever really cared to look beneath the fancy clothes for the lonely man he truly was._

                Even now, his life was being planned for him. His well-meaning, but amazingly dense (considering their positions) advisors were already busy ordering the servants around, getting the palace ready for the upcoming festivities. He sighed and sat up to survey the changes to his home. His outdoor sanctuary had even been redone; all the hedges and bushes were strung with bright ribbons and lanterns hung at measured intervals, so that no part of the grounds would be left in shadows. _No amount of prettily done decorations or lights will lift the darkness in my heart, he thought gloomily as he lifted his hand to gently caress a pink rosebud that sprang from the large bush at his side, _Only Miaka can do that.__

                He smiled slightly as he cupped the young flower in his hand, careful not to damage it, or break it from its fellows. _Her skin smelled like this,_ he remembered, breathing deep, _felt like this..._

_~You are the life to my soul.~_

_****_

                A monk and an ex-bandit watched over their emperor from a safe distance among some trees, discussing his declining condition in low, worried tones. Normally, two of such different backgrounds never would have crossed paths, but for a war and one determined young woman. Now, the two comrades stood locked in indecision over the right course of action for their fellow seishi, for it was their bond of friendship that both stayed their hands, and yet forced them.

                "Well, whaddya suggest we do, huh?" the fiery Tasuki exclaimed impatiently, tired of Chichiri's eternal "wait and see" attitude. Naturally, he was all for the "headlong approach," diving into the situation with so little tact he would most likely come out sounding like a complete baka, not to mention quite insensitive.

                "I realize we are left with limited options, no da," his elder companion replied somewhat tersely, "But what would you have us do? Run up to him and tell him to get married and _forget about Miaka? Even with all the eager young ladies out there, we both know Hotohori too well to even think for a _moment_ that such a thing would work!" He eyed his temperamental friend a bit warily, as though he were concerned Tasuki would do just that._

                Offended, he scowled at him and shifted his tessen into a more comfortable position on his back, "Ya know, if ya were just about anyone else, y'd be roasted by now."

                Chichiri smirked, crossing his arms as he surveyed his friend, "Particularly if I were… Tamahome, right?"

                Tasuki snorted at that and shrugged, "Yeah, y've got me there. Never did see the sense in Miaka fallin' for that guy."

                "Well, he _did save her and Yui when they first came to our world, no da?" was the monk's bland answer, as if that should explain everything._

                The flame-haired bandit-turned-warrior flung up his hands in a show of exasperation, "Haven't we all? For Suzaku's sake, even _Seiryuu_ have saved her life!"

                Chirichi chuckled, shaking his head, "And each one of us would happily do it again, you know that as well as I."

                "Bah." Tasuki turned away sulkily. _I hate it when he's right, which is always._

                He leaned on his staff, the rings clinking softly as he raised a brow, "You don't have to pretend, no da."

                "What're ya talkin' about?" he looked over his shoulder in annoyance.

                "You know what I mean," replied Chichiri, his penetrating gaze seeming to read Tasuki's very soul.

  
_****_

                Miaka leaned against the side of her bed as she sat on the floor, looking at floral arrangements. Each seemed to be more expensive than the last, despite all her efforts to find a middle ground between her and Taka's ideas of the "perfect wedding." "Arg!" she pulled at her hair in frustration, dropping her head back against the blanket to glare at the ceiling.

"Miaka?" her mother knocked on the door, smiling, "I brought something that might cheer you up a little. I know you've been looking through those catalogues for hours." She grinned and produced a plate of cookies from around the corner.

                Perking up, she bounded to her feet and hugged her, "Thanks, Mom! Ooh, peanut butter! Cool!"

                Yuuki-san (gomen ^_^() can't figure out anything else to call her) smiled and surrendered the platter to her excitable daughter, who was already happily munching away on the treat as she picked her way through the magazines back to her bed. She looked around at the clutter and laughed, "Miaka, I know you're trying to get ready for your wedding, but don't you think turning your room into a landfill is a bit much?"

                She shook her head, blinking as she mumbled through a full mouth, "Nope. I can clean it later, can't I?"

Miaka's mom shrugged, smiling to herself.  _My baby girl, completely guiless. "Mind if I join you?"_

                The teenager grinned and scooted to the side to make room for her, "Sure."

                Skirting gingerly around the mess in the middle of the floor, Yuuki-san sat down, "I take it from that outburst a moment ago that you're having a hard time trying to compromise with Taka?"

                "You don't know the half of it, Mom," she sighed and gazed pensively at the cookie in her hand, suddenly not very hungry, "I've been having the strangest dreams lately, and I don't have a clue what they mean."

                The elder woman raised her brows in concern, "Oh? How so?"

                Miaka turned a troubled expression to her, "I have the most horrible feeling that someone I care for is in pain, maybe even in danger, but I don't know who it is, or what that threat might be."

                _Oh, dear. Yuuki-san frowned, getting a chill, herself. _I hope it's no one from that "book world." I don't ever want her to go back there again. She needs to stay _here__, with her family and friends, not running and putting herself in harm's way!_

QoH: ^_~ hehe well, ok, I don't remember if her mom knows about all that or not, but I figured since Keisuke does… *shrugs* reviews would be greatly appreciated! :D


	5. Point Of No Return

QoH: *twitch, twitch* technology hates me.... _() my ancient pc ERASED my entire disk..... *grrrr* anyway! yes, all the seshi ARE alive... ^_^() hey, what can i say? hehe aside from the fact that i HATED that certain ones died in the first place, i think its better for the story ^_~

PS: hey, guess what! ^_____^ they finally got another Fushigi Yugi volume in here at the library. yay! lol its weird tho. 1st they did #6, then #4, now… its #2! o_O what they tryin some funky pattern or somethin?? lol ah well, i get some good Nuriko insight out of it, and since im focusing a good bit on him in this particular chap, its perfect timin! ya know what that means lol some one-sided shonen-ai! ^_^() my 1st time writin anything of that sort, so please don't hurt me!

_Chapter 5: Point Of No Return_

                In the large dining hall of the palace, an emergency meeting of the Suzaku Seshi had been called (with some obvious exceptions, of course) to discuss the declining health of their leader. To look around at their somber faces, one might have thought that someone was on their deathbed. It wasn't so far as that, but each warrior knew all to well what it was to lose one's spirit, and it amounted to about the same thing in the end.

                Chichiri set his staff against the table and cast his serious, masked gaze over his fellows, "With the ball fast approaching and Heika-sama in no condition to move from his bed, much less attend, we need to come up with something that will motivate him, even if only slightly. The last thing he would want now is for his subjects to worry themselves over him."

                "I agree." Chiriko nodded a couple chairs down, leaning forward on his elbows at the table, "In my recent walks through the gardens with him, I have noticed him withdrawing more into himself with each passing moment. If this self-destructive path continues much longer, I'm unsure whether he can ever recover."

                "Ya, we _know all that!" Tasuki leaped angrily to his feet and slammed his palms on the wood, "But I still don't see anybody comin' up with any brilliant ideas!"_

                Nuriko scowled and yanked him back down by the tail-end of his tunic, earning himself a dagger glare from the hot-tempered bandit, "You're not helping matters with all that yelling, either," he looked away with a closed, fairly bitter expression on his face, "I'm as eager to find a solution to this as you are, but what good does it do to throw a tantrum? It doesn't change the fact that His Majesty misses Miaka so much that he is literally wasting away."

                "That's true, however I think there will be snow in the Underworld before he moves beyond that. He has sworn that he would always love her as no other, and it's clear he intends to stick by that, no matter the cost to himself." Mitsukake commented beside Chiriko, Tama-neko meowing in agreement from his shoulder.

                The crossdressing seshi stood abruptly and stalked out the door, dropping an awkward silence over the group for a couple minutes. The healer shook his head and closed his eyes in regret, "I was careless. Somehow, I'd managed to forget for a moment that Nuriko had been chasing after His Highness even before Miaka came to our world."

                "No one can avoid such statements forever, especially when they happen to be true." Chiriko reassured his mentor with a slight nod, "It's a painful situation. Regardless of the outcome, one of our friends will have a broken heart."

                Chichiri got up from his seat and paced beside the wall, the fingers of his right hand tapping thoughtfully on his chin, "We may not have to do anything at all, but we really should have something in place if what I sense doesn't come true in time."

                Tasuki's eye twitched in mounting irritation as he crossed his arms, "Ya better not be tellin' us to _wait again, monk."_

                "Oh, no," he replied with a small smile on his lips, picking up his staff, "I just don't believe it will be necessary." He turned chibi then and bolted out the door before a frustrated former outlaw could wring his neck. Tasuki naturally gave chase, leaving a rather windblown Mitsukake and Chiriko staring after them, large sweatdrops running down the backs of their heads.

_The cluster of trees near Hotohori's garden_

                Birds squawked in alarmed indignation, fleeing their nests as Nuriko shattered the trunk of a tree in his anger. Seeing the various splinters and branches rain down before him somewhat brought the purple-haired warrior to his senses, and he sighed and sat down against an adjacent tree. _That was stupid of me. I shouldn't have let my emotions get out of control like that. Being destructive won't solve anything._

                He gritted his teeth and glared at his hands, but kept his irritation firmly restrained this time. _The problem is, nothing else seems to work, either. This is just a horrible situation I've gotten myself involved in, it's that simple. Miaka will never come back, and His Majesty will continue to pine for her while I, his "strange friend," sit by and wish for things that will never happen! Why does life like to torture perfectly nice people, sometimes? It couldn't happen to some malicious jerk, oh no... Nakago would never find himself in anything remotely close_ to this. I hate it, hate it, _hate it_!__

                He growled under his breath and surged to his feet, storming off in the direction of Hotohori's chambers. "I'll _make_ him see there's more to life than Miaka Yuuki!"

_****_

                Yui laughed, sitting back to watch her friends argue good-naturedly over what toppings to have on the pizza they were _trying_ to order. She put the phone to her ear and sheepishly explained to the extraordinarily paitent order-taker, "I'm sorry. It'll be just a second. One of my friends suggested mushrooms and anchovies and won't let go of it, despite the vehement refusals from the others."

                "That's all right. It happens a lot," the young woman replied, amusement in her voice, "You get used to it after a while. It sounds like you've got a full-blown melee going over there."

                Indeed, at that very moment Miaka was being given a good-sized noogie by Keisuke for mentioning the "mushrooms and anchovies" idea, as he was in favor of sausage and pepperoni. Miaka was fighting back pretty well, giving him a few punches to his kidneys as Taka tried to pull her out of her brother's grasp. Tetsuya was doing his part in yanking back on his best friend's torso, but the siblings seemed to be locked together in their efforts to pound at each other.

                "OK, everyone!" Yui yelled at the top of her voice, putting a hand over the mouthpiece as she laid it in her lap, "Calm down, or I'm hanging this up!" All four of her friends halted where they were and turned their heads to stare at her, now so quiet, she wouldn't have been surprised to hear a cricket chirp. As they were all tangled together, this made for quite a comical scene. She grinned and asked calmly, "Now, with no arguing, could we tell them what we want before you're frozen like that for eternity?"

_An hour later_

                Miaka smiled and polished off her sixth slice of sausage and mushroom pizza (with double extra cheese) as she listened to the excited chatter about the upcoming wedding. Even her mother had joined in when she came home from work. That was one thing that had surprised the teenager; she'd never thought that her mom would be so gung-ho over the idea of her little girl getting married, and to a guy she'd just "met," but there it was. _Of course, with Taka being the way he is, I guess I shouldn't be so shocked. His talk of planning for our future and everything goes along perfectly with her hope that I'd push myself to graduate with honors. And she's right in thinking so; I'd do anything for him._ A slight frown crossed her features as she glanced out the window at the starlit sky, curling up next to her fiance who put his arm comfortably around her with a grin and continued talking. _Everything's perfect, so why do I keep getting the feeling that something is terribly wrong? Why is it I only see images so fuzzy it's like they were shot at night and underwater with a faulty camera? The one clue I have doesn't even make any sense_! "Painful gold." What could it mean? What the heck is so painful about gold? Gah, I hate riddles...__

                "Hey, wake up, dingbat!" Keisuke called to her, shaping his hands around his mouth in a makeshift bullhorn as though he was trying to shout across a canyon.

                "Huh?" she jerked slightly and looked in irritation at her brother, burrowing into Taka's side, "That wasn't nice, you know..."

                The tall brunette hugged her and stood, kissing his betrothed lightly on the forehead, "I guess that's my cue to leave, Miaka. It looks like you could use some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow, all right?"

                She pouted a little, scowling up at him before relenting under his disarming smile, "Oh, all right, as long as you promise to bring that surprise you were talking about with you when you come back."

                Taka grinned over his shoulder and winked as he walked out the door, "You got it."

                "Have a good night. Call me if you figure out anything new, OK?" Yui smiled conspiratorially and hugged her friend, then walked over to drag Tetsuya away by the ear before he could fire another round of questions at his classmate about their upcoming test, "Come _on, already! 'Calculus Twenty Questions' can wait until daylight."_

                Miaka laughed as the blonde yanked him out into the hall and sighed, standing to stretch her hands up to the ceiling. Keisuke smiled up at his little sister and set his cup down, "Taka's right; you should get some rest. You've only been back from the book world for a few days, you know."

                "Yeah. Oyasumi, Keisuke," she smiled wearily and hugged him on her way to her room. _That's right. Only last week, I was in the "Universe of the Four Gods." It feels like another lifetime. I hope everybody's doing all right there. Hotohori, Chiriko, Nuriko, Mitsukake and Chichiri... I miss you guys so much. And Hotohori... I hope you find happiness someday. I'm sorry it couldn't be with me. If things were different.... well, just know that I'll never forget you._

QoH: *face plants* dah.... Miaka can be really dense sometimes, ne? the answer shes been wantin is right in front of her face, and does she see it? nope ^_^() shell be figurin out whats what soon, tho hehe *looks around innocently* this and the next chapter are turnin points of the story, so things are gonna "heat up" around here. oh, and while im thinkin on it, any guesses as to what Nuri-chan's up to? heehee ^_~ Hoto's in for a shocker.... :D

PS: please review…. i just went through snow that hasnt stopped since it started early yesterday morning to get to the library and find out my account wouldn't let me on for nearly an hour (and i can only use these for an hour! o_O time limits…) anyway, enough of that ^_^() hope you liked this chapter! Next should be up quite soon hehe im on a roll!


	6. Soul Searching

QoH: heh. I finally get a new pc, but the blasted thing doesnt have a modem... (it didnt even have anything i could use to type my stories with! *twitch* we got a writing program from a friend of my gran's just today, so im tryin for marathon typin sessions ^_^() still tryin to get used to it, as its not Word, so if i screw up somehow, please forgive me!) and i dont generally have the time to go to the library these days, with my work schedule bein loony tunes as it is -_-() yeesh *sighs* ah well lol anyway, enough about my irritating life. we've got a couple new "characters" showing up here. any thoughts on their motives? *looks around innocently* ^_~ oh, and as in the last chapter, there's a "shonen ai" warning here, only this time, it's a little more... intense :D hehe

Mika- Japanese for "new moon"

Keiko- "beloved" (~~ you've seen her before hehe think "bear" ^_~)

_Chapter 6: Soul Searching_

                Hotohori stared dully up at the ceiling of his room from his bed, which he hadn't bothered to move from all day. His depression had taken over his entire existence, the lethargy making it so that even if he were somehow motivated to do so, his body probably wouldn't allow it. _She is my sun. Without her, it is an eternal winter's night. Suzaku, what should I do?_

                "Hotohori."

                He twitched slightly at the sound of his name, which translated into jumping a foot or two off the ground for those with the energy. Instead, he glanced around for the source, turning his head just slightly to aid in the effort as he wondered on a raspy breath, "Who's there?" Seeing no one, he sighe and closed his eyes, wondering if he really was losing his mind.

                "I'm here to help you, Hotohori," the same voice replied, yet he still couldn't figure out where it was coming from. But then, that question was also answered when it continued, "I'm inside your thoughts, my dear emperor. Please, don't stress yourself further by trying to search for me."

                He raised a brow in faint curiosity, tinged with irony as he rolled to his side. _You have interesting tastes in residence, considering my current mental state, miss, and you have yet to tell me your name._

                It seemed the spirit smiled, for there was a hint of one in "her" tone, "You can call me Mika. As for your 'mental state,' where else could I be? Why do you insist on torturing yourself like this?"

                _I never had a choice in the matter. How does one stop from loving another, especially when it isn't warranted? The only thing Miaka ever wanted was to be loved by Tamahome, and I suppose it was my destiny to stand in the shadow of that love. Hotohori gave a brief half-smile as he thought of her cheerful, enthusiastic demeanor, of how it shone exceptionly bright when she was around the martial artist._

                "She couldn't love you, but still your love was true." Mika exhaled heavily, as if processing a major concept, "Why?"

                _Why do I pine for her as I do? He shifted slightly and pillowed his head on his arm, his eyes drifting open to wander over the elaborate quilting of his blanket, pondering his answer. _When she came into my life, it began to have real meaning. For the first time, someone saw me as more than the Emperor. Even still, my closest friends all give me those honorific titles and put me up on pedestals, when I simply want to be the man she saw in me. _This seemed to surprise his visitor, because she was quiet for several moments, and he wondered what she was thinking as he continued, _But more than that, I miss _her, _everything about her. Miaka is such a caring, empathetic person, so sweet and lovely. I still remember how she cried in guilt over the fact that she didn't love me. How could I not?_ He smiled softly to himself and snuggled the teddy bear close, closing his eyes once more._

                "This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you, Hotohori," came the mournful, fading voice of the spirit, and then he was alone again. He soon fell asleep, that parting comment echoing through his head.

_****_

                Nuriko tapped his foot and crossed his arms in irritation, staring down the stoic servants chosen to guard Hotohori's rooms, "I'm not going to go away, not until you let me talk to His Majesty."

                "Forgive us, Master Nuriko," answered the overly tall, slightly pudgy one on his right, bowing low, "but if you insist on staying, it seems we're all going be here for a very long time. We cannot allow anyone, even a Suzaku Seshi, to disturb Heika-sama without his consent, and he has said nothing of receiving people."

                He scowled at them in frustration, wondering how he could convince them to let him pass without resorting to violent measures. _I don't want to have to toss them down the hall and lock the door behind me, but if it comes to that..._ He took a deep breath and tried another tack, looking seriously at them both, "I really doubt he's said much at _all over the course of the past few days. I'm __worried about him, aren't you?"_

                Brow raised, the other "guard" replied in a vaguely affronted tone as he drew himself up to his full height, coming to just under Nuriko's chin, "Naturally, but we must trust His Highness to take care of himself well enough while he works through his heartbreak. Considering the circumstances, of course it is difficult, but we know he will find his way eventually."

                The senshi closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, feeling a fair headache coming on with all this. _Just wonderful, he thought sarcastically and grimaced to himself. _No help for it, I guess._ His jaw set, he grabbed the front of their tunics and hauled the struggling pair down the corridor to lock them in a rarely used closet. Speaking through the door, he explained as best he could, "I really am sorry that I have to do this to you. I know you're just doing your job, but I can't allow that to stop me right now. He will _not_ waste away in that room of his, not while I'm still here."_

                Attempting to ignore the sounds of banging and shouting behind him, he strode purposefully back to Hotohori's door and threw it open. Nuriko waited a few seconds as his eyes adjusted to the dim light within the chamber, scratching the back of his neck somewhat nervously. Now that he was here, he felt a little unsure of how to proceed. _Should I just try a Tasuki-style approach, or go with something less dramatic? Dreaming of this for years doesn't help in real life in the least, he shrugged and shook his head, __Oh, forget analyizing it. It'll come to me._

                What he was prepared for when he saw Hotohori, he hadn't a clue in the world, but he hoped he could somehow bring him out of that depression he'd been wallowing in for what seemed like forever. _How I'm going to manage that, Suzaku knows, but at the very least, he's getting out of that bed, one way or another._ Nuriko blinked a final time to clear his vision and his eyes fell upon the bed where the swordsman he'd admired for so long lay still and pale as Death itself.

                _No, he couldn't have... He approached the emperor's bedside carefully, worry building, _Not yet. He's strong; he _wouldn't_ have... _Nuriko choked on the thought as he knelt on the floor and studied his chest intently, praying it would rise. When it did, however shakily, he let out a quiet sigh of relief and bowed his head in silent thanks to the phoenix god._

                He regained his feet and gingerly took a seat on the left edge of the bed, trying his best not to wake his sleeping friend. Hotohori rolled his head in his sleep toward Nuriko, giving him a better look at his face. His smile was faint as he very gently lifted some dark chocolate strands from his gaunt cheek, letting them fall to rest among their fellows onto the shoulder of his embroidered red nightrobe.

                When Hotohori let out a slight moan and shifted again, more restlessly this time, Nuriko froze as his eyes went wide. _Oh, don't tell me he's going to wake up _now_!_ After a few tense moments, the violet-haired man felt his heart beat again when he realized his companion was only dreaming, and still quite unaware of the conscious world. Hotohori weakly lifted his arm and made futile grasps at the air above him as he lay on his back, Miaka's name coming again and again on soft, wretched sobs that threatened to make Nuriko cry, himself.

                _All right, that does it, he gathered his courage and leaned down and pressed his lips firmly to Hotohori's, taking the hand from the air and holding it tight in his own._

                Hotohori's eyes popped open in shock, "Nuriko!"

QoH: *innocent look* oh, by the way, I thought you might like to know… I now have a modem ^___^ therefore, I do believe I can update at my house instead of making the trek to the library every time I want to post lol


	7. Out Of The Darkness

QoH: twitches violently i cant believe it… i had this new chapter almost entirely written, and then it up and disappears on me! GAH!!!! bangs her head on the desk evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil!!!! gets dizzy ah… anyway, i know its been forever… crosses her fingers and hopes that people will give her a chance and read but i wont bore you with the screwed up details of my life (save for the fact that my pc has died more times than i care to remember… oO() and I work a lot now, so theres little opportunity for me to get to the library) so, yeah… hope you like, people

ps: oh, yeah… more one-sided shonen-ai stuff here hehe and yes, it WILL remain Hoto/Mia. sorry to all Hoto/Nuri fans out there. aside from the fact that i think Hotohori and Miaka belong together, im not used to the yaoi fandom yet, so I don't wanna butcher it XD (i might do one later, since some of you are so gung-ho about it hehe gonna need a freakin good idea tho…) lol the only reason im able to write this is cuz ive gotten a bit of inspiration from a lovely anime called Gravitation stupid grin i got the first ep with my newest NewtypeUSA edition (best anime/manga mag on the planet, in my opinion. that and Shonen Jump :D)

_Chapter 7: Out Of The Darkness_

Hotohori scrambled away so quickly that he came in rather rough contact with the wall behind him. Rubbing his head, he eyed the offending obstruction for a moment before turning back to stare at Nuriko, "What in the name of the four Gods do you think you are _doing_?!"

The crossdresser got to his feet, somewhat offended at the sight of His Majesty nearly falling off the bed in an attempt to put as much distance between them as possible, but taking it in stride as he shot back, "Well, excuse me for being worried out of my mind about you! Miaka's _not_ coming back, no matter how much you pine for her! Did you think I was just going to stand by and let you die?!"

Golden eyes lost their momentary spark as the emperor slumped back against the wealth of pillows at the mention of her name and looked away, "If that is my destiny, so be it."

"Do you really think that Suzaku wants you to die?" Nuriko sat back down helplessly, careful to keep a respectful distance this time, "Outside of Nakago and his lot, why would _anyone_ want that?"

"And if I were to go on with my life as though she never existed," he lifted his hand in a "so what" sort of gesture, "what then? What purpose do I have?"

"What about the thousands of people who love you? You're the most beloved Emperor in generations! Don't you, at least, have a duty to be there for _us_?"

"Duty…" Hotohori closed his eyes as his fingers went to his mark, his smile faintly tinged with bitterness, "That has been my whole life. Is it wrong of me to want something more? For someone to love me for the man, not the ruler? Miaka did that, as much as she could, and I must be content with that."

"What about _me_?!" Nuriko exclaimed and threw his arms up in frustration, getting worked up again at his stubborn refusal to see reality, "Am I just invisible to you, Your Majesty? Do you think I stayed in the inner seraglio for so long because it was _fun_? It was the dullest place on the face of the planet, but I _stayed_ because I hoped that I might see you! Then Miaka shows up--"

"Jealousy does not become you, you know," he replied in a flat tone and returned to his previous "invalid" position, his gaze on the ceiling again, "I was under the impression that you were over that. Even if I were not in love with Miaka, that does not mean that I would be with you."

_That_ one stung, and the purple-eyed warrior knew that he knew that. _It's not like you to be so hurtful… Has her leaving changed even your personality?_ He sighed and studied his kimono-clad knees, "A fact that has been made abundantly clear multiple times, Your Majesty. Forgive me. I only thinking about what is best for you, and I can't imagine how your living like a hermit is doing any good."

Hotohori finally turned his head a little and met his gaze. A true, however faint, smile appeared on his face for the first time in recent memory, "No, forgive me. I should not have said what I did. I know you and the rest of the seshi are worried about me, and I was wrong to imply that your motives were any less honorable. Everything has been so strange of late…" he whispered softly to himself, but his companion caught it all the same, "I suppose I really should _try_ to go on…"

_At last, he's coming back to m- us._ Nuriko amended the thought quickly, before his heart could lead his brain down _that_ path again. _It's enough if he just gets better._ "Does that mean you'll reassure us all and go outside, before you become permanently attached to this bed?" he grinned hopefully.

"I couldn't possibly go out like this…" he looked down at himself, then at his tangled brown hair, as though aware of it all for the first time and not liking what he saw, "I look horrible!"

_Oh, yeah. He's back._ His smile widened as he replied, standing up, "That's why you've got me!"

"Eh…"

"Don't worry, I won't do anything." Nuriko sweatdropped, holding up his hands innocently, "It's just that your servants are kind of occupied right now…"

"What did you do with them?" Hotohori gave him a weird look, unsure if he wanted to know the answer, "You didn't toss them over the balcony, did you?"

"I locked them in the closet down the hall," his grin turned sheepish now as he went around the bed to help his friend up.

The emperor chuckled a bit as he stood on shaky feet, leaning on the bedpost, "You were _really_ worried, weren't you?"

Miaka suddenly felt very happy, which was odd because just seconds before, she was highly irritated at Taka for being late. She shook her head, wondering where in the world that feeling had come from as she sat on the step outside the apartment building where she lived. _He said he'd be here this morning… Where _is_ he?_

Sighing, she wrapped her arms around her knees and watched a bird flitting through the cloudless early-afternoon sky. Having nothing to do until Taka came, she took the opportunity to ponder the recurrent dreams that had plagued her over the past few days. _I should probably talk to Yui again. I wish she'd tell me what she thinks about this. I just _know_ she knows more than she's telling. It's just a matter of getting her to spill it, which won't be easy…_

She stood up and stretched, looking around for her overdue fiancé, "C'mon, Taka… what's taking you so long? You know waiting makes me antsy, especially when it involves a surprise of some sort. After everything we've been through, I've come to detest surprises…"

"But, what am I talking about?" Miaka asked herself, smacking herself upside the head as she paced along the driveway, "This is _Taka_! It's not like he's gonna spring some depressing shocker on me, or anything. I bet it's just a little present he thought I'd like." Still, the element of the unknown made her a little uneasy, and kept her going up and down the length of the yard.

At _long_ last, she finally spotted him, pelting up the street like he was in the "Running Of The Bulls" race, and desperately trying to stay ahead of the horns. She stared at him as he skidded to a stop, panting heavily with his hands on his knees, in front of her, "What on earth are you doing, Taka? Come here and sit down."

Gratefully, he let her lead him to the step she'd previously occupied and plopped down, still gasping, "Sorry… I'm so late… My car… broke down…"

"Why didn't you call?" she wondered, bewildered as she took his hand, sitting beside him.

"Couldn't… find… a pay phone…" he replied and let out a long breath, leaning back against the railing with his eyes closed, "I was downtown… when it happened…"

"You really need to get a cell phone…" Miaka sighed, shaking her head, then gave him a weird look as she realized the last thing he'd said, "You ran all the way from _downtown_? That's at least four miles!"

Taka smiled, a bit recovered now, and sat up straighter, "I know, but I wanted to give this to you as soon as possible." He produced from his back pocket a polished, ornately carved oak box approximately the span of his hand and gave it to her.

She blinked at it as it sat there, rather weightily, in her grasp, "What is it?"

"Open it, silly, and find out," he chuckled, obviously anxious to see her reaction.

She giggled and did so, then gasped at the contents. Nestled and gleaming in the little black sponge were their future wedding bands. Once again, as she stared at their respective rings, that strange feeling overtook her, and made her question whether she was awake or dreaming. _Why does this keep happening? What does it _mean_?_

"-them engraved." Taka was saying, smiling at the box in his fiancée's hand. Then, noticing that she hadn't moved even a centimeter since she'd opened it, he frowned in concern, "Miaka, are you all right?"

She shook off the hazy feeling and smiled at him brilliantly, "I'm _wonderful_! But, this must've cost so much! You didn't need to do all this!"

Chalking his bride-to-be's odd behavior up to simple shock, he smiled again, a bit shyly this time, "Yeah, well, I figure I've been too stubborn with this whole money thing lately. You deserve the best I can possibly give you, and this is my way of saying I'm sorry. Whoa! Easy, easy!" he exclaimed as she glomped him enthusiastically, but was laughing all the same, "I just ran several miles, remember?"

Miaka backed off, blushing in mild embarrassment as she grinned at him and stood up, "Well, why don't we go inside? You can call a tow truck for your car. Where'd you leave it, anyway?"

"About two blocks from the jewelry store," he laughed wryly and took her offered hand, getting to his feet as well, "I got to see some interesting scenery flying by on my way here, though."

The first thing Hotohori and Nuriko did, once the slowly mending emperor had declared himself somewhat "passable," (which, for most people, would equate to fancy wedding attire) was let the attendants/guards out of the closet. Coughing and stumbling their way out of the tiny, musty old room, it took the two a few moments to realize just who was standing, smiling, before them. Once they did, their eyes widened in shocked joy, and might've danced around and/or hugged their beloved Heika-sama, had they not been so finely trained. But, since they were, both were merely sent dashing off in search of the other Suzaku warriors and bring them to the garden, with strict orders not to say a word as to _why_ they were doing so. Violet met gold in a gleeful conspiratorial glance; they wanted to see their friends' jaws hit the floor.

And they got their wish, or mostly. Tasuki was the first to arrive, no doubt having raced through the building at top speed from wherever he'd been, and true to form, gaped like a freshly hooked fish at the rather unbelievable sight before him. He was still trying to get his vocal chords to cooperate when Mitsukake and Chiriko, within seconds of each other, burst through opposing doors and onto the scene, also obliging in their entertaining stares. Even Tama-neko, clinging to her (A/N: it _is_ a female… right? () i forget) usual spot atop the doctor's shoulder, looked to be, aside from mildly windblown and not particularly happy about that fact, quite stunned.

Chichiri, however, showed up a full five minutes later, calm as you please, strolling up the walkway. In that time, the large square of nature had become quite crowded with servants from all over the palace who, intrigued by their co-workers' wild running around and repeated, ecstatic yelling of "the garden," had popped up to see what all the fuss was about. The monk (or, more accurately, his mask) smiled slightly in amusement, looking around at the near-mob proportions of the joyous gathering before turning his gaze to Hotohori, "It's good to see Your Highness up and around again, no da." Said emperor nodded his thanks, a little smile in return.

Nuriko pouted and crossed his arms, sort of miffed that his plan didn't go quite as he'd wanted, "Can't we _ever_ surprise you?"

"In the unlikely event that you ever do, you'd probably never know it, no da," he answered serenely and ducked a punch from a suddenly animated Tasuki, who also looked fairly put-out.

"Hey, no fair!" the fiery ex-bandit yelled as he tried again and again, generally coming out looking like a complete idiot as Chichiri eluded him easily at every turn, "How come y' knew about this before, and didn't tell any of us?!"

"I didn't, no da," he said, blocking three more wild swings with his staff as the rest looked on, enjoying the show, "This wasn't what I sensed, however happy the news is, no da.

"What was it, Chichiri?" Chiriko wondered in interest, thinking it might have something to do with the way the stars have been so restless lately. _If I'm right…_ Rather than openly replying, the monk nodded slightly at the child genius, and the two shared a knowing glance.

Noting Tasuki's mounting irritation at being left out of the loop, Mitsukake went up to the emperor and bowed low, "I'm relieved to see you doing so much better, Your Majesty," he raised a brow at Nuriko as he straightened up, "How in the world did you persuade him to come out of that room of his?"

"Thank you, Mitsukake." Hotohori smiled wanly, despite his new resolution to be strong. Getting over depression is a long and difficult process, after all, "He merely showed me that I still have reasons to go on, even though she's gone."

"Ya, welcome back, man!" Tasuki grinned, slapping him on the back rather hard, "Knew y'd make it!"

"Oh, Tasuki…" Nuriko sidled up to in a deceptively calm manner, then punched him into the nearest wall (which was ten feet away, mind you) when he turned to face him, "don't do that, you baka!"

Peeling himself from the wall, the ex-bandit came back with a vengeance and tackled him. There was a collective resigned sigh from everyone as it escalated into a full-blown brawl. Hotohori chuckled a bit and wandered away through his roses, closely followed by Chiriko, Chichiri and Mitsukake. The servants, also used to these things by now, didn't bother them and went about their business.

"I'm gonna pound your face in!"

"Oh yeah?! _Rekka Shien_!"

QoH: heh… what to do about tama-baby…. :D votes, anyone? ive got some ideas wanderin around in my brain, but im open to suggestions too ill even consider the outrageous ones hehe mainly cuz itd be funny to see what you guys come up with, and think about what theyd turn out like in the fic. Oh, and sorry if it sounds like theres tasu-bashin here () literally. hes my second fave char, but he makes for some great comic relief :D


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